How To Navigate Midlife & Menopause
The simple secret to living midlife with greater ease.
I’ve been in this messy midlife peri/menopause transition for a while now…
I’m fifty and have been experiencing the hormonal and soul-level shifts and changes that this period of our lives can bring for quite a few years.
Looking back, I can see the alchemical midlife spirit awoke within me around the age of forty and since then I’ve experienced many changes in my career, family relationships and health as well as my relationship with my body and soul.
My menstrual cycle started going wonky in my mid-forties.
And now it’s been 108 days since the start of my last bleed…
Maybe this is the end of my cycle? I don’t know. (None of us in the mystery of the menopause transition know where we are in it - we’ll only know in hindsight once we pass 365 days since our last period…)
So what I’m saying is … I’ve been hanging around in this liminal time of change for quite a while so I feel I have something of value to share as to how we might navigate it.
It’s not earth-shattering … though it is life-changing.
It’s simple … yet perhaps somewhat challenging.
My best advice to you on how to navigate midlife and menopause?
Be gentle with yourself. Be kind. Be patient.
You are changing. You probably don’t know where you are in the process. Even if your periods have stopped there is likely still a sense of finding your new normal (though if you’re well settled into your post-menopause self and want to share how that feels for you, please do leave a comment or drop me a line!).
A word potion
As is my way, may I share a poetic word potion with you which sums these feelings up? Then I’ll share an invitation and a practice to help you along the way.
Take a breath, exhale … and let this word medicine work its magic within your soul…
In The Midlife Chrysalis
Be gentle with yourself, you’re changing.
You’re in that soupy stage –
No longer the caterpillar you once were.
Not quite the butterfly ready to emerge and fly.Be gentle, be kind, go slowly, rest when you can –
And be with yourself in this midlife chrysalis.
Close your eyes, put down your burdens,
And dream…Trust your imaginal cells will awaken,
For your future self
Is encoded within them –
She was there waiting, all along.Can you sense your butterfly wings beginning to form now?
Feel for the outline.
Be patient and perhaps you will see
Hints and glints of colour
As your new self begins to take shape.
Be gentle with yourself, you’re changing.
What a miracle.
What an opportunity.
What a joy.
An invitation
May these words land within your heart.
May you be gentle with yourself, dear kindred spirit.
May you be kind to yourself, for then you will feel better.
May you treat your body and soul together as the unified precious being that it is.
Listen … Can you hear your new self calling to you?
Perhaps there’s an image, a word, a feeling, a longing …
Breathe and receive this whisper … and trust yourself.
A practice
When you’re struggling with your feelings, or your body, or your thoughts … Gently place a hand on your heart space and slowly breathe out through lightly pursed lips…
Release the tension, at least a little…
And ask yourself this: ‘What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?’.
For example: ‘I’m doing the best I can’ or ‘may I learn to be with the unknown’ or ‘may I learn to accept myself as I am’ or ‘I’m not alone, other midlife spirits are struggling with this too…’.
And now notice how it feels to be kind to yourself.
How does it feel to be warm and tender towards yourself?
What sensations are present in your body?
Perhaps there’s a softening of your eyes, maybe your jaw releases … your shoulders relax.
Perhaps there’s a spaciousness in your chest… Maybe a warm feeling spreads internally through your abdomen… Maybe your whole body feels more settled … supported.
Notice how offering yourself gentle kindness feels … and take a few more breaths letting that feeling sink into you as you sink into it... Like a soothing balm or a golden mist settling into your heart … into your bones … into the lonely and hurting places inside you.
Breathe and receive this feeling of gentle kindness into every cell of your being…
*
Until next time, I wish you the blessings of fierce + tender self-compassion,
Stella 🔥💞✨
P.S. The word potion above is from my book, Her Soul Is Ablaze.
Get my latest book…
Her Soul Is Ablaze:
A companion for your midlife awakening
Her Soul Is Ablaze is a poetic sanctuary for those navigating the transformative terrain of midlife and menopause.
“A tender, earthy guide to
the deep transformation of menopause.”
— Kate Codrington, author of Second Spring and The Perimenopause Journal
