When it all feels too much
~ Thoughts on staying present and grounded, even when our emotions feel overwhelming ~
It’s a truth, a gift and a challenge all rolled into one: being human is an emotional rollercoaster isn’t it?
The inevitable ups and downs can be both exhilarating and terrifying.
And of course, if you’re a highly sensitive empath you experience your emotions (and other people’s too) more intensely than most.
I think it’s a natural tendency of the sensitive to dissociate – to check out – from the energetic bombardment, emotional tangles, and difficult-to-acknowledge feelings of being alive now in these times and the legacy of perhaps unprocessed challenges even traumas we’ve experienced through our lives so far.
And many spiritual paths and self development practices offer us alluring ways to dissociate.
They encourage us to transcend our experience by just witnessing our mental state and detaching from the thoughts and feelings, or they exhort us to choose love over fear, or to allow “positive vibes only”.
But I don’t think this is helpful.
There’s even a term to describe it: “the transcendence bypass” – escaping into spiritual practices to avoid confronting and processing difficult feelings.
I believe to live fully we need to own all of who we are – and to love all parts of ourselves, from our vulnerable little inner child to our bossy inner critic, from our angry selfish inner brat to our wise inner guide.
Splitting off from our lived experience of our messy and challenging thoughts and emotions is to deny the fullness and complexity of our humanity.
And ultimately it doesn’t work.
Your body still feels those unacknowledged emotions, even if your mind won’t accept them, and they may manifest as physical dis-ease such as migraines, back pain or digestive issues, to name a few.
(I know. I suffered from chronic Irritable Bowel Syndrome for ten years before I addressed the underlying emotional wounds and issues which I came to understand had played such a large part in its development.)
And when you reach your 40s and the powerful journey through perimenopause, these unprocessed feelings and unacknowledged parts of both your personal history and psyche will likely come roaring back at you with inexplicable rage.
Your body and soul keep the score.
So, may I gently remind you, as I wrote in my first book Peace Lies Within, “it’s OK to feel angry. It’s OK to feel fearful or confused or full of doubt. It’s OK to feel irritated and frustrated … It’s OK to feel baffled or bewildered or bemused. It’s OK to feel the depths of despair and the dizzy heights of bliss … It’s OK to feel, my love”.
But I know it can feel overwhelming, particularly as we live in a patriarchal culture which disowns emotions.
All too often we’ll swallow our anger and rage and turn it back on ourselves as sadness and powerlessness (which are more socially acceptable).
So if you’re experiencing all. of. the. emotions, particularly in these changing, turbulent, discombobulating times and are finding it difficult to find your peace with them or you’re feeling lost and alone, then I hope these beautiful words by Linda Reuther will comfort you.
Because they bring me great comfort when I feel overwhelmed.
Homecoming
“And the Great Mother said:
Come my child and give me all that you are.
I am not afraid of your strength and darkness, of your fear and pain.
Give me your tears.
They will be my rushing rivers and roaring oceans.
Give me your rage.
It will erupt into my molten volcanoes and rolling thunder.
Give me your tired spirit.
I will lay it to rest in my soft meadows.
Give me your hopes and dreams.
I will plant a field of sunflowers and arch rainbows in the sky.
You are not too much for me.
My arms and heart welcome your true fullness.
There is room in my world for all of you, all that you are.
I will cradle you in the boughs of my ancient redwoods and the valleys of my gentle rolling hills.
My soft winds will sing you lullabies and soothe your burdened heart.
Release your deep pain.
You are not alone and you have never been alone.”
*
May you feel the presence of the Great Mother, holding you in Her love.
With love & peaceful blessings,
Stella x
