starry night sky: divine universeI’m sure you’ve heard of the ego ― that part of us that is associated with self-esteem and our sense of self.

It normally gets a bad rap. Calling someone “egotistical” is an insult. Doing things to boost your ego will rile other people.

Having a big ego is deemed ‘A Bad Thing’.

In spiritual/new age/personal development circles, displaying any sign of having an ego is a certain sign of not being evolved spiritually, and you’re looked down on because of this.

The ego is that mysterious aspect within us, which makes us feel separate from everything else. And this can have serious limitations in terms of creating connection – whether to others or to source/the divine.

But to dismiss this aspect of you and to try to squash and diminish it is actually damaging to your mental and emotional health.

Here’s why.

Don’t dismiss your ego…

I’ll begin with a question for you.

Who would you be without your sense of self? Without an understanding of your preferences and desires and wishes? Without a sense of your own values?

You’d be no-one. Amorphous.

In short, you wouldn’t be human.

So please understand that having an ego is not something to be ashamed of — it’s part of what it is to be human.

Not knowing who you are and what you want from life and living without purpose is not a road I would wish anyone to take.

We need boundaries and a sense of self to be able to be in healthy relationships with ourselves and others. Otherwise, we just get pushed and pulled around completely at the mercy of other people (and their egos!) and events.

…But you’re not just your ego

However, (Yes, this is a ‘but’ here!) …

While the ego is essential to our sense of an individual self, living and operating in this world, it’s not the whole story.

Yes, each of us is an individual separated from other living beings by the physical boundaries of our skin and the individual life experiences we have lived through.

But there’s more to each of us than that.

There is a non-physical aspect to you. A spirit, a soul, an essence, a divine spark, universal consciousness ― whatever you wish to call it — that exists beyond the ego’s sense of separation.

It’s in that longing to make meaningful connection. It’s in that whisper of inner-knowing and wisdom that arises from deep within. It is expansive and full of wonder. It feels the stardust in each cell of your being and understands that all of life is connected.

And the funny thing is, from my experience at least, it is when we feel most comfortable, accepting and loving towards our individual self (the ego) with all our quirks and weirdness and imperfections, that this sense of deep connection to all-that-is can be felt.

You are one with life

Allow yourself to embrace all that you are and all that you have experienced ― the joys and the challenges.

Allow yourself to find peace with your mind — no matter how noisy, critical and downright annoying it is.

And you may just find yourself transcending the boundaries of your small sense of self to know, deep in your bones and every fibre of your being, that there is more to life than your little self.

That you’re not separated from life.

That you exist in a delicate web of energy and awareness and life, which connects us all.

Allow yourself to have your ego and sense of self and accept this.

And be OK with it. Let go of the struggle. You’re you. You’re unique.

And in allowing this let in the possibility that you’re also deeply connected to the whole pulse of life: timeless and beyond boundaries and radiantly divine.


About Stella

Stella Tomlinson - Living in Rhythm - movement, yoga, meditation, relaxation, stillness, inner peace

Hi, I’m Stella Tomlinson and I guide highly sensitive women to live with peace & purpose.

I work with highly sensitive, intuitive women like you, who feel overwhelmed, frustrated and misunderstood and I help you to find the calm, ease and confidence you yearn for so you can live with peace and purpose.

I’ll guide you to reconnect to the inner intuitive guidance available to you through the sacred temple of your body; the wise whispers of your heart and soul; and the divine feminine energies of the seasons and cycles of life as a grounded spiritual practice.

And in doing so you’ll find clarity of mind, grounded inner peace, self-acceptance, a confident mindset, spiritual nourishment, and you’ll feel in flow with life.

I am a Priestess of the Goddess Brighid (in training), an experienced Dru Meditation & Yoga teacher, a writer (author of ‘Peace Lies Within’), and an energy worker/healer. I offer heart-healing meditation & yoga classes, and Soul Space for Sensitives events in Hampshire, UK. View of all my upcoming events here

Understand your ego
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